Another lesson in love

This will be a further exploration of 1 Corinthians 13, continuing from verse 5. The verse speaks of the following love qualities:  

·        not rude

·        seeketh not her own way

·        not easily provoked

·        thinketh no evil

As I have previously stated, the love of God is about bringing forth the best in us and for us, therefore a rude assertiveness and behavior would be contrary to this. The way I view it is that when someone is rude towards you that is an indication of a lack of respect, as they are unhesitatingly informing you through word or act that “I think less of you” or “I do not care much for you”. So when this is how you are acting towards someone be it for any reason, it shines a bad light towards them. For even if you are angry with someone, you need to try to show adequate respect from a place of love to express your annoyance of something without being disrespectful and ill-mannered. This is of course challenging at times particularly when you feel that the person is deserving of it and that they honestly deserve whatsoever attitude you offer them. Nonetheless that is where the greater mission of being a follower of Christ comes in. We ought not to give people what we deem is a merited attitude and reaction; we are to, however to ask God to help us counter their behavior and confrontations. Easier said than done, I am still a work in the hands of my Lord on this section of love.

This then pours onto the next quality of love which is not being self-seeking. This as I perceive it, is an extension of the former statement because if you seek the spiritual enrichment of the other rather than dishing out the pain and irritation caused by that person, you are leaning more to love rather than vengeance. It’s hard at times, especially in a world where we are constantly submerged with phrases such as “getting even”, “do you”, and so forth. Learning to drown out all that and allow God to speak becomes near impossible, especially when you feel mistreated. The natural thing to do is get your own retribution and put yourself first. I cannot begin to express how this is unhealthy on so numerous levels; the reason being that if your only focus is you and what is best for you all the time, where does the body of Christ come in? Where does God fit into your ideal strategy of putting yourself first and stuff the world approach? I know this is testing particularly when you have been confronted with betrayal after betrayal, have been used by people and taken for granted; that happens, I have experienced it and becoming like the rest of the world is seductive and feels so much more easier than turning the other cheek (Mathew 5: 39). (It is like, “Jesus forgive me, but I am through being a doormat, it hurts having people walk all over you and you have to smile and bless them). It is hard, I know; that is why we are called not to do it through our own strength and heart, but through the heart of Christ (Philippians 4:13). This will thus help us be in line with what He wants for our lives rather than what we feel we are owed by the world. Being motivated by hurt, agony, resentment, all these negative self-preservation  sentiments and beliefs, is not why were created; it transforms us and poisons us to become people we end up not being able to live with, or at least that is the result with me. Life is not about just making yourself happy, and doing what is best for you; you need to do what God requires you to do. He sees the larger picture and His objective is to ultimately do what is best for you and give you what will bring you the most peace (Jeremiah 29:11), if we simply absorb Him and faithfully shadow Him, we will be where we never dreamed He could take us. Step one to that; seek first the Kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33), not easy especially when what you want appears to be everything you will need or will at least give you the much needed justice you feel is worth losing it all for. However, when it comes to dealing with others not sometimes, self-seeking and self-gratification should not be your compass.

The next point in this love is not being easily provoked, now this is another challenge for those who are short-tempered. The way I choose to see this is, if I were the one failing at a certain intention, or situation or weakness; would I not want to be encountered with patience and understanding? Funny really, because the first description of love is patience, which is one thing I would also want for people to express when dealing with my many annoying habits. I get it, I am a parent and sometimes you are tired, drained, the kids are screaming and the last thing you need is for someone to just step on your toes, you will want to snap; but with God you will find all that appear to be nothing. You will scream and shout at someone, and then what? You yelled and wounded someone in the process, was it really worth it? You will now need to be faced with having to apologize and mend a relationship when it could have been avoided with you leaving the situation and praying, God says that we need to frequently pray (1 Thessalonians 5:17). So it all boils down to, is breaking my child’s spirit or the heart of my spouse and offending those around me worth getting the anger out of my system? Will an apology truly erase the words spoken or actions committed in a moment of gratified anger? It just never is worth it, as much as anger in itself is not a sin, but the way we behave and where we permit that rage to take us could be the sin we commit against other and when hurting someone rather than building them is involved, it is never worth loosing yourself for nor degrading yourself for. How wonderful scripture works, from anger to evil thoughts. We all know that in scripture to simply think of something is equivalent to having had committed that act (Matthew 5:28). So to simply say, I will not speak what is in my mind in my rage and just have this argument in my head, is as though you had done it, with the exception that the other person was not hurt by the words. This is why we need to bring the hurt, our thoughts to the cross and just surrender them to God so as to avoid loving someone and giving them an evil eye, while desiring they would get wounded or destroyed. That may lead to it developing into your way of thought and plant a seed of hatred inside you thus contaminating the love God was seeking to create in you. It is not easy, but that's why we go to God through Christ and allow Him to take over.

 

In all things, seek His love in our hearts and lives rather than our own bitter thoughts of what we feel is justifiable.